• When Susan Parker felt like a poster child for dealing with America’s social issues: depression, bulimia, family genetics that seemed set for self-destruct, an evangelical religion instead of therapy, and same-sex attraction, she stood on the brink of hopelessness.
• When you try your best to fit the mold your family, church, and community want, expect, and demand, and you just can’t…what will you discover in the core of your being that will save you? What Susan found will help us all.
• When compelling characters in her life try to deal with catastrophe as best they can, and their efforts are disastrously inadequate, triumph might be the last thing anyone could hope for, and for Susan it very nearly was…. Join her as she finally comes to understand the nature of personal miracles.

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REVIEWS OF THE BOOK

“An honest, heartbreaking memoir that chronicles a pattern of tragedy and confusion. The book begins with Parker’s recollections of her father’s mental breakdown and suicide attempts, which she witnessed at the age of 11.  Soon afterward, the author discovered a family history filled with dark secrets, including an uncle kept secret from the family and an aunt who was brutally raped and eventually committed suicide out of despair. As her world became increasingly complex and difficult, her family turned to their Christian faith to guide them through the many rough patches they endured. However, they found others’ interpretations of their faith to be ill-matched with their own, and their churches and denominations were in constant flux as they searched for a fitting interpretation. Parker spent her college years using binge-eating as an emotional crutch and developed a serious case of bulimia, with which she struggled for years. The memoir’s last third is by far the most truthful and endearing segment, as readers meet the now-41-year-old mother Parker, in the process of a messy divorce triggered by the discovery that she is gay. Even in the face of endless challenges, the author remains optimistic, looking toward her spirituality to guide her through dark times. She shows a gift for storytelling, and as a result, the book is compelling and enthralling. Parker examines her psyche—and the mistakes and tragedies that mar her life—with endearing bravery. Through her honesty, Parker makes a successful argument for faith and spirituality while somehow avoiding the pitfalls of sappiness and overt sentimentality. This is thanks in part to her sharing her beliefs, rather than preaching them.   Genuinely uplifting and inspiring.”
— Kirkus Discoveries

 “Author Susan Parker shares her life story in “Walking in the Deep End,” beginning with the year her father attempted suicide and gradually pushed her family into an evangelical Christian environment. Parker shares her family’s secrets and the way they were hidden, ignored and concealed and the profound toll the emotional detachment took on her and others. Parker’s story is a very compelling and relatable one. She grows up in a family that avoids dealing with the messy, uncomfortable, and upsetting aspects of life, and turns to evangelical Christianity as a cure-all. This alone is not enough for Parker, and over the course of her life, she seeks out different methods of coping, ranging from church, friends, and support groups to bulimia, alcohol, and drugs. Through it all, she constantly questions the faith she was raised with. Parker’s story is at times warm and funny, at others extremely depressing, but completely real, authentic, and sincere. It’s a cathartic experience for the reader, following Parker as she eventually finds a way to be a truer version of herself. “
— BookReview.com

"Walking in the Deep End is Susan Parker's beautifully written story about breaking away from dysfunctional patterns that once held her captive. Through her courage and vision, she inspires us to follow our own paths despite what others think. Parker’s honest style and rich experiences remind me of the work of Anne Lamott and Augusten Burroughs as she unveils family secrets, skewers religious hypocrisy, and faces the truth about herself in a way that held me spellbound."
— Candace Chellew-Hodge, author of Bulletproof Faith

Reading Susan Parker’s new book, Walking in The Deep End, brings to mind front and centre the fact that everyone has a “so what?” story but it is what one chooses to do with circumstances and how one uses the lessons learned from the events on their path that truly shape a person. From sharing candid feelings and thoughts of a loved one’s suicide, to taking the reader through a battle with an eating disorder, to expressing feelings of despair and sharing the pain of a deep and devastating grief, this book touches on many issues and situations that aren’t often brought up in casual conversations.At the same time, the narrative is personal, the voice inviting and it becomes easy to read through the tough memories and feelings. Without being self-righteous, Susan Parker shares with the readers’ instances of how her faith helped her through the darker days. Walking In The Deep End is a very honest and well-written memoir that has the ability to inspire and uplift all who read this story."
— Authors Promoting Authors

WHAT READERS ARE SAYING

"I met Susan briefly several months before "Walking in the Deep End" was to be released. I quickly sensed that Susan was a caring, warm and very special person. I eagerly awaited reading her first book. When it arrived I literally read the whole book in one day. It's the kind of book you just can't bear to put down for another time. So honest, so willing to share her experiences - perhaps not the same experiences as the readers', but ones that that caused us the same pain and confusion. Susan sprinkles humor throughout her tragedies, which keeps it from becoming a self-pitying autobiography. It is uplifting and inspiring to follow Susan's journey as she conquers the demons that haunted her from childhood, to become the brave, loving, but very human person she is. This is the very best book I have read in a long time, both for the content and the beautiful but concise imagery of her writing style. Not a wasted word; I was riveted throughout every page. Her comparisons with everyday things provides the reader crystal clear images of the events or feelings she is describing. This is one of those books that will always stay in the reader's mind and heart. I hope that Susan will share her gift with us in another book."
— Linda T. Carden

"This book is profound, magical and thought-provoking. Susan is powerful writer who brings one into her world. I found this to be on par with Dave Eggars, Augusten Burroughs and James Frey. Walking in the Deep End is riveting, and impossible to forget. I will refer this to everyone I know."
— Alicia K. Russell

"I was captivated by Walking in the Deep End which I read in two sittings - I simply could not it put down. Susan Parker's writing is fresh, honest and personable without any pretense. The character study and descriptions are rich and raw weaving elements of tragedy, religion, sexuality and interpersonal relationships in a way that is both comfortingly familiar yet new. It's rewarding to read a story and be able to really connect with new characters while reflecting and comparing to situations in your own life. This memoir does just that - it draws you in - culminating in enlightening ways. In the end it's not a preachy silly prescription for life like other trendy memoirs I've tried to read, instead it's a thoughtful book about the true definition of spirituality through a journey of self discovery"
— R. Raasch "Robert"

READ AN EXCERPT

Whenever I let myself remember that Sunday before my eleventh birthday, I see my father’s hands. They fidgeted with his tie, then his hat. He was about to run; I could feel it. The churchgoers at St. Timothy’s had probably never seen anyone bolt for the door during Mass, though many probably wanted to do just that. Dad and I stood in the back of the auditorium that served as a weekend church. Mom sat in the third row with my six-year-old sister, Ann. They had found the last of the folding chairs, while I’d stayed with Dad as he parked the car. I didn’t envy them being so close to the front—it was too hard to daydream up there.

Squirmy in the uncomfortable dress Mom insisted I wear, I tried hard to focus on the Lord-Be-With-You part. Concentrating was difficult not only because this was the weekend before my eleventh birthday and I was dreaming of presents and celebrating with my visiting grandmother, but I also had to keep my eye on my father, home from the hospital on one of the visits they allowed every other weekend. The Northern Virginia Mental Health Institute. A mental hospital. No one told me exactly what he’d done three months ago to be taken there in such a rush, but even as an almost eleven-year-old, I’d known he wasn’t acting right and that something needed to be done. I did know about some things. In the months leading up to his stay in the hospital I’d watched and listened.

The fact that the grown-ups were NOT talking about the way my dad had grown increasingly distant had made me pause in the hall, alert whenever Mom talked on the phone or tried to reason with Dad. I wanted to understand how this new version of my father had replaced the one who told corny jokes and offered me pocket change for baseball cards and candy. His vacant eyes left me wondering whether he still cared about his family—or about me.

That Sunday, I turned the thin, wrinkled pages of my Misselette, but I watched him. His right leg was shaking to a rhythm faster than my heartbeat. Father Joe hurried through the Mass, but it was still too long for Dad. He made huffing noises and cleared his throat constantly as he rocked back and forth, glancing at the exit, his watch, and then the exit again. People glared at us. I looked away, embarrassed, only to see an older kid in sixth grade snickering at me, a bully named Harold. I begged God to keep Dad from doing something really weird.

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